Pregnancy Posts: The Wardrobe

If you're not interested in pregnancy stuff, don't worry, I won't be blogging this exclusively for the next few months. Just ignore the posts with "pregnancy" in the title and continue as usual!

We tend to do 90% of our clothing/shoes/toiletries shopping on our once-yearly trip to the Northern Hemisphere. It just so happened that our decision to try to conceive fell right around my shopping planning (I try to buy things online at the end of the summer season in the US, as it's not very helpful looking for Rio-appropriate clothes in December!), and as my wardrobe needed a pick-me-up anyhow, I decided to buy clothes that could do double duty. I bought a stack of dresses and tunics that worked well on my non-preggers body but that had enough give in all the right places (length, bust, belly, hips) to continue well into pregnancy. The key is to look for:

-stretch, loose fits, empire waists and long silhouettes. If you want things that will go into the nursing phase as well, scoop or cowl necks are also nice.

My top picks were maxi dresses, because they're timelessly sexy, hide a multitude of perceived flaws, and make you look instantly put together even though you only had five minutes to get ready. Here's a sampling of what I ended up choosing:

1. This J. Crew dress, while being absurdly low-cut, is going to make a fantastic nursing outfit as well. As it is, I can barely keep the sleeves up, but I wear a tank underneath so it's not a problem.


2. My Modcloth dress is so awesome I actually bought a second, as a backup. Seriously. Rocks. I feel like a Greek goddess in it and get compliments every time I wear it. The only drawback? Single strap requires a strapless bra, which is a difficult thing to find these days...


3. At a local consignment store, I found a loose knit dress with an asymmetrical hemline that goes great over leggings; when not pregnant, I belt it tight around my waist and rock it with boots...

4. I hit the plus-size sale racks at TJMaxx and found a strange tunic with a drawstring that goes from under the bust to the hem, making an interesting ruching effect. It shows off the belly now, but will lie flat and lovely post-pregnancy and is good with the super-comfy leggings I'll be living in once the weather cools down a bit.

5. One "sexy enough" dress for weddings and date nights and such.


(I bought this in grey which is not out of stock; this color is on sale now and redlines are buy one get one free!)

Other essentials that are better found in the US are:

1) Bras in a variety of sizes. Until a year or so ago, the only cup size you could find in the city was a B! As we were travelling when I was only about 4 months pregnant, I had to guesstimate my future size(s). So far, I've gone up almost 2 cup sizes but my band size hasn't changed. (I'm probably going to be a band size larger by the time we're done, but I hope to the boob gods that the cup size doesn't grow or I'll be rivaling Pamela Anderson in the cleavage department!) If you've got to buy underthings before you actually need them, I'd recommend getting bras in 3 sizes: 1-2 cup sizes up from the band you're wearing now, 1-2 in a band size larger and larger cups (ideal if these are nursing bras), at least 3 sleep bras (no underwire) which can also double as nursing bras. If you get comfy sports bras in cool colors, they can act as "tanks" under revealing dresses/tops and still leave your belly free, which is nice when the weather is sweltering. The less layering one has to do, the better!

2) Actual maternity clothes. We hit the consignment stores in Houston for maternity wear, baby clothes, and things like the monitor and baby carriers. I didn't want to spend any more than necessary on clothes that have a 9-12 month life span, so I went straight for the used racks. I've been happiest with the following:

-denim shorts and miniskirts with the elastic waistband.
-jeans with a thicker elastic waist (I have a pair of maternity skinnies, but the elastic isn't as strong and I feel like the crotch is always sliding to my knees.)
-a super long tank top
-several nursing tanks (I'm wearing these now because they're longer than regular ones. I prefer the push-aside versions to the clip straps, which just look kind of awkward.)


Okay, I think that's enough about clothes. In the next preggers post, I'll talk about pretatals, creams, etc...

Shoe Hack

I'm deep in the midst of several DIY crafty projects, some of which will soon make it to the blog with tutorials and photos. The fake taxidermy elephant head is still a work in progress, but is coming along. If I don't kill my blender first, we should be done by mid-March. It takes things forever to dry in this humidity!

Being a multi-tasker, I decided that a two-foot papier-mâché elephant head wasn't ENOUGH work for these hot days. So I pulled a shelved project out of the cupboard over the weekend. Let me present: The Shoe Hack.

Several years ago, I bought a pair of light grey suede booties, similar to these:


They were always uncomfortable; the pitch was always off, so I was constantly balancing on my tiptoes. This is fine for short wears, but really reduced the usefulness of the shoes. Discomfort aside, I no longer found them cute. In fact, I couldn't find anything to wear them with, so they were just languishing away in the back of my closet. I thought about just giving them away, but I don't know anyone that's my size. So at some point in the last few months, I decided that I would attempt an experiment. From time to time, I run across clever wardrobe hack ideas online, ways of repurposing and renovating things that would otherwise be given or thrown away. And I thought, why not turn them into a respectable pair of neon pumps? Something bright and cheery?

So I transformed them. Here's a photo of the half-way mark:



I used several coats of regular fabric paint until they were the color I wanted, then smoothed on a coat of ModgePodge to seal. Carefully wielding a craft knife, I trimmed away the ankle cuffs, angling into the shoe so it wouldn't be obvious that I'd cut something off, since I didn't have anything thick and gummy to make a proper seal along the cut edge. You can see there's still a lot of loose ends and rough spots from this picture; I glued, then cut a second time, as the glue helped harden the leather and fabric, making it easier to clean up.



When it was trimmed up, I sanded the edges, re-glued the inner liner where it had come loose, then sponged on more paint and ModgePodge until the cut lines blended in with the rest of the shoe.

And, the mostly finished project:



They could use another coat of paint, as I started with teal and decided to go green after the first coat, so there's a little bleed-through. And I have the clean the green paint off the soles. But otherwise, I'm pleased. Even my husband was pleasantly surprised. Sometimes he looks at my projects and you can tell he's thinking, "This is never going to work." (And sometimes, he's right!) Not this time. Now, granted, these are still uncomfortable, but I'll probably wear them to liven up a black dress, or peeking out under a pair of slacks...

Now, about that elephant...excuse me, but I have some papier-mâché-ing to do!

Because the year has now officially started...

Carnaval is over...here's us, trying unsuccessfully to use the timer on our camera and using terrible positioning under the lights. We have a hard time remembering to take photographs--anyone else in this same boat? I need suggestions on how to amp up our photographic proof of a life together! I'm wearing my birthday shirt here (thanks, Nan!) which I bought over the sales at the beginning of the month and intended on saving until the big day...but it was too Carnavalesque. I couldn't resist! And now that Carnaval is over, the year begins. Hello, 2012. I am ready for you.

And now, a little link love for my readers, from things that I encountered over our little staycation:

Sex in the News:
The Opinionator at the NYTimes on the election that is all about sex. Some really provocative comments here, lotsa stupid, but some gems worth looking into. Notably for me, these quotes:

1) "When Rick Santorum talks about this stuff in the way he does, it’s theology, not sociology. And believe me, there are very few Americans who are strongly theological, even the ones who attend services every week." Dear God, I hope that's not true. But if it even appears to be true, it says volumes about the state of actual faith praxis in the United States. Which is scary in its own way.

2) The backwardness of the sexual debates. As Gail points out, the anti-abortion camp was making headway. Changing the topic in the public arena to whether female birth control should even be LEGAL (not to mention the insurance lockout for female contraception options), while blithely ignoring the fact that non-essential sexual health options for men are routinely covered by insurance and no one bats an eye...it's not just archaic. It's absurd. It's also an old, OLD topic. See here and here for stuff ranging back a decade.

3) "The rise of unwed mothers" sounds like a 1950's pulp horror title. Besides coming to some weird, biased conclusions that show the authors' social and class preconceptions, the talking heads here don't even mention what is probably a MAIN cause, the dearth of marriageable men, until the last couple of paragraphs: "what do we do to make it so that more men are worth marrying?" Can we really DO anything about the fact that prolonged adolescence has become a national/international pastime? I know a few "unwed mothers" and contemplated adoption when I was still single...being a mother but not married isn't synonymous with poverty, poor child raising, promiscuity and being a "drain on society." "Unwed mother" is a title I think we need to scratch from our vocabulary, as it's a horribly stigmatized phrase...and really, when have you ever heard the term "unwed father?"

On a Lenten note:
here's a great reflection on the differences between the Catholic and Orthodox positions on Mary. It seems I turn the corner and everywhere I'm encountering Orthodox thought and theology...it resonates within me and I move closer and closer to that side of the faith spectrum...

On Ash Wednesday, I made myself a set of prayer beads, following no particular tradition, but just as a way to not fall asleep when I go to pray. Closing my eyes takes me straight to the land of Nod, so...I use this to stay focused. It's made to represent a wide spectrum of people and places and times in my life as it includes tiger-eyes from blogger and real-life-friend Ali, the San Damiano cross I was given when I started missionary work with WMF, and even some beads I inherited from my great-grandmother. It's just long enough to hold in my hand, and with 25 beads, satisfies my inner OCD need for things to be in manageable numerical clumps. Usually, I do threes, but five is a nice odd number too...in any case, I think I'll be using these for both planned and impromptu prayers. My favorite memorized prayers by far are from the Orthodox tradition, the Trisagion prayers. A more complete prayer book can be found online here.



They're resting on discarded practice dovetails that hubby is doing. I don't know what, exactly, I'm getting for my birthday, but I do think it involves these time-intensive, precise little critters. Whatever it is, it's going to be gorgeous. My husband is SO MUCH MORE attentive to detail than I am, which is a good quality when making things by hand. See this?

That's the changing tray for our future kiddo...he made entirely with hand tools. Planed, sanded, even did the router work with chisels! Amazing, right?

And last, but not least, RT.com
has been added to Al Jazeera English as one of my places to go for international news coverage that's being ignored, glossed over or spun in only one direction from the US media. Also, what's NOT to love about their tag line? "Question More." Amen!

Transportation Snafus

My husband and I have a love/hate relationship with the transportation professionals in this area. He can never get taxi drivers who carry even R$5 in change; we've lost count of the number of times that the local taxi stand has given him a free or discounted ride because they were unprepared to do business with people who don't walk around with a wallet full of R$2 bills. They also have a nasty habit of parking at the taxi stand and then disappearing, or arguing with the other guys about who should take the fare...because they're not really in the mood to work. It's fascinating when you're not in a hurry. I'm not sure how they make any money at all. On the other hand, seeing a line of taxis as you are rapidly approaching being late for work and knowing that there's not a soul there to drive them because they're all having a beer or a coffee at the bar down the street is rather disheartening. I usually take buses, though when I'm lazy or late I do succumb to the appeal of an air-conditioned taxi.

The other day, impatient for my bus to arrive, I jumped on a different bus which I thought was going where I wanted to go. Of course, it only went part of the way, and by the time I realized my mistake, the bus driver wouldn't let me out...and ten minutes later when we'd arrived at the next bus stop (hello, traffic jam!) , I was too far away from where I wanted to go to walk and get there in time. So I hailed a taxi and discovered that my horrendous mental mapping skills are still better than apparently three out of four taxi or professional drivers. (At least that day!)

The first gentleman who picked me up opened the door and greeted me by introducing himself by his full name. Very Victorian and chivalrous. I told him where I wanted to go and he immediately began driving in circles.

"Why are you going this way?" I asked. "I need to go to the canal road."
"Oh…well, we have to go this way anyhow." Since he's turned down a one way street that's inconveniently angled to move in the opposite direction of where I want to go,
I highly doubt this.

"Take the next left. Turn back. You're heading the WRONG WAY. It's this street, do you know it? Not the canal street at this end, I could walk there...it's the one between Ipanema and Leblon!"

He muttered and stuttered and finally did what I asked him to. It doesn't seem like this guy is trying to take me for a ride on a running taxi meter. No, he's just CLUELESS as to where he is. The Zona Sul is not hard to navigate, so this baffled me.

I finally arrived at my destination, had a great time at cooking club (more on that in a later post) and was offered a ride home by one of the ladies who has a personal driver. It took no less than 3 phone calls, 20 minutes of saying goodbyes and 10 minutes waiting by the side of the road before he managed to find the major road we are on. My brain whirs. Are we in a time warp? Am I speaking Klingon? There are only three conceivable ways one can arrive in Leblon via Copacabana...and all of them intersect with the road we are on! Yet somehow, the driver is lost. Argh!

We do manage to make it to Barra, and other than actually getting the driver to find us, the lift was pleasant and without incident. I'm super grateful that I didn't have to sit on a bumpy, sweaty bus for an hour! But with a doctor's appointment later in the afternoon, this time at a medical center in a major mall down the way, I just couldn't bring myself to drag my pregnant self to the bus stop in the sweltering heat. So I flagged a taxi. As my luck goes, the man doesn't know where the mall is. At this point, I am tempted to question my own sanity. Am I hearing him correctly? Should I get out of the cab?

"Barra Shopping. It's the big mall on Avenida das Americas? You can't miss it."
"Never heard of it."
WHAAT? Maybe my Portuguese is broken. Even, deep breathing. Relax.

"Just get on this road. Go straight. I'll tell you when to turn." I knew I should have taken a bus!

The last taxi of the day picked me up outside the mall. I gave him my address and he knew exactly where he was going. Glory! Then we had a long and heated conversation about Brazilian politics, corruption and Rio's crumbling infrastructure. As we neared my place, he said "You should put yourself on the ballot. Brazil needs new blood."
Flattering...but…"Well, I can't really. I'm not a Brazilian citizen."
"You're not?"
Ohh. Flattery. I get out with a grin and breathe a sigh of relief. After a day of starts, stops, misdirection and confusion, it was nice to know that I could, in fact, communicate intelligently and coherently in Portuguese. And not only that, but I can do a fairly decent job of back-seat navigation!

DETRAN and the Brazilian driver's license

Mr. Bugigangas needs to get his Brazilian driver's license. Since we're now officially Brazilian residents, his foreign license really isn't adequate if we wanted to rent a car here. Also, it really is the strangest license I've ever seen and I'm constantly amazed that the car rental companies haven't blinked an eye when he's presented it in the past few years. He has a Texas license. As a foreigner, the license clearly states the expiration date for his visa as well as a separate expiration date for his driver's license, but without specifying whether the currently expired visa invalidates the actual license. It's weird. Anyhow, yesterday, we decided to pop on over to the DETRAN website and check out the requirements.

It has been a long time since I laughed so hard I snorted.

First, there is the simulator for the written test, which I got a 70% on, not bad for a first time and also because I guesstimated a few of the answers because I wasn't familiar with the vocabulary. Those questions I did understand were often humorous, as the options were between what OUGHT to happen on the road and what Carioca drivers actually DO. I wonder how many people think those are trick questions?

Brazil also requires a medical exam and a psychological exam before they'll issue you a license. Just for fun, we looked at the info sheet for both of those exams. That's when the giggling started. This webpage reads like a primer on how take micromanagement to the next bureaucratic level.

For example:

The doctor's office must be no less than 9m2 and have a sink and light fixtures. (Are they worried people will be practicing medicine in caves?) There should be a chair for the patient as well as a chair AND a desk for the doctor, who needs to own a stethoscope, tongue depressors and a tape measure...among a few other essential items. Doctor's shouldn't treat more than 6 patients an hour...and yet there's an extensive list of things they're supposed to test for. It hardly seems possible that even an assembly-line doc could run through that list with any amount of thoroughness in 10 minutes. Moving on to the instructions for medical "professionals," we discover that not all doctors know to leave their tap shoes at home...the psychological and medical testers are advised to:

Use clothing that's appropriate for the testing facility and shoes that do not make too much noise (which might interfere with a candidate's concentration), provide well-sharpened pencils no less than 12 cm long, and, just in case it wasn't clear what the job description was, remember that "the conclusion is the most important part and, as the name indicates, should conclude something without a shade of doubt, so that, as it is a medical diagnosis, we have absolute certainty of the results of the exam."

Well, I am SO glad that's been settled. Conclusions should in fact, conclude. That led us to make our own conclusions, namely, that we're not sure that being assured our testing pencil is 12cm long gives us any confidence hat crazies are being kept off the road when they're being subjected to a psychological test that can be failed and retaken at least once!

Pregnancy Posts: Introduction

When we got pregnant, I realized how little practical information is available on the internet for expat mothers. With the exception of a few really great Brazilian-based bloggers who detailed their pregnancies for the world, there's just this big blank space in the ether. So I decided to keep track of our decisions and whatnot to help out other families who might be in our situation.

Pregnancy, like all major life events, is a chance to be totally BOMBARDED by advertisers. Everyone has something to sell you once a child is growing in your womb. And it can be hard to separate the necessary from the "nice to have" and the essential from the purely fun. What's even worse is when you're an expat with limited suitcase space, no access to affordable infant things, and one trip a year to your home country. Everyone in Rio says that taking a pregnancy vacation in the United States will pay for itself, as the amount you save buying everything overseas will more than pay for the cost of the ticket. Crazy, but true. Baby things are hella expensive in Rio. We are talking R$2000 for a crib made of particle board, R$250 for a Bumbo seat…and some things aren't even really available here yet. Prenatal vitamins aren't sold in the drugstores (I think you have to have them mixed at a special pharmacy), cloth diapering isn't locally popular, and the options are limited, so anything you want/need has to be brought from abroad and maternity clothing is only just starting to appear in the stores (and like everything else, costs obscene amounts of money. As if that weren't enough, being in another culture means that the whole pregnancy experience is different. Expectations are different. For example, Caesarean sections are the norm in Brazil, so finding a doctor who is amenable to natural birth is a big deal. Brazilians often treat pregnancy like a disease; people don't want me to WALK outside, for goodness sake, or carry my own groceries, or exercise. Women are treated like queens during this time: special seats are provided on the buses; I get to go through priority lines at the supermarket, bank and post office; and it's assumed that you'll need all sorts of specialized care: nutritionists, massage therapists, birth consultants who will help you learn how to give your baby a bath (?!) and more. Phew. It all makes my head spin.

Over the next few months, I'll be posting at semi-regular intervals, detailing the random little things about pregnancy in another culture that I wished I'd had access to at the beginning. Stay tuned...

How to Give a Compliment: A Primer for Brazilian Men

Brazilians must love blue eyes. I'm always getting comments on mine, but more often than not, I'm at a loss as to whether the comment is meant as a compliment, as an expression of disgust, or something else.

Instead of hissing at a stranger on the street, or leaning close as you walk by to leer, or excitedly come up to share with me the surprising fact that my eyes are the same color they have always been...men of Rio, perhaps you could follow the lead of the charming elderly gentleman in the cheese store today who tapped me on the arm and said, "Excuse me, but may I compliment you?"

May I compliment you? I think I melted right in the middle of ordering my Minas cheese.

Well. When you ask so nicely, what choice do I have but to say yes? (This method has the added benefit of not being creepy or rude.) Now, you can say, as he did, "You have lovely eyes."

And you will get a thank you instead of the withering look your mother used to give you when you left your dirty underwear on the bathroom floor when company came to visit. See? Isn't that nicer?

Pre-Carnaval

I've really not had luck with my transportation today. Bus drivers that won't let me off the bus, traffic snarls, taxi drivers that don't know where they're going and won't take directions...but I'm getting more Brazilian, I guess, because I no longer bite my nails when I'm a half-hour late for an appointment.

I'm glad that I did make that appointment, though, as I'm currently stuffed beyond belief with wonderful food, courtesy of a cooking group we've just started with a few other expats. Today, British food has been solidly rescued from an unfair stereotype as bland and boring, as our cooking lesson not only included a hair dryer, but also marinating maraschino cherries in Worcestershire sauce for some divinely bacon-wrapped nibbles. Not boring. I was given my first taste of Yorkshire pudding and we simply devoured a lovely, lovely pork roast (that took some wrangling at the supermarket to purchase with skin on)...

Now I'm holed up at home, smelling like bacon and trying to work up the energy to head out again for my doctor's appointment. It's been a busy week, full of meetings, writer's critique groups, etc. Tomorrow begins our unofficial staycation for Carnaval, which I'm really excited about. It seems that there are two groups of people who stay in the city for Carnaval. The first group doesn't leave their homes for the duration, avoiding crowds, pee-soaked streets and the miserable traffic. The second group doesn't make it home at all, as they're too busy staying awake and partying for days...you can guess which group we're going to be a part of, can't you?

Besides having some uninterrupted time for writing, a little beach time and middle-of-the-day naps planned for this looooong weekend, I have a big crafts project to finish over Carnaval--a papier maché elephant head to hang in my office. It's been on my to-do list for quite some time, but I've only recently gotten up the gumption to
attempt it. I'll be posting pictures and a how-to once it's finished. At the moment, I only have the frame done and will need to rip up a lot of old newspapers and buy copious amounts of glue in order to start the papier maché process. (Flour glue won't work in this humidity and with the number of bugs we have!)

If you don't hear from me before Ash Wednesday, have a great, safe, fun Carnaval. Samba a little. Don't forget to sleep, and eat real food (if you're going to the blocos). Paz!

Strike! Rio Police Abdicate Responsibility

The state of Rio's military police went on strike last night at 11:30 or so. Promising to put just 30% of their troops on the streets, this is guaranteed to cause chaos in the city and severely hurt the economic boom that is Carnaval. While foreign news outlets are reporting that Carnaval is 2 weeks away, don't be misled by their literal interpretation of "Carnaval." The parade is 2 weeks away. The official blocos and street parties started LAST weekend. This weekend was set up to be even more intense...and I've heard that a major street party (Bola Preta) has already been cancelled.

Read a news article in Portuguese here.

The police have legitimate complaints: their salary IS abysmally low for the dangers they face. However, the poor public image and general lack of respect for the force is directly tied, I'm sure, to the rampant corruption in their ranks. My taxi driver vehemently asserted last night: "This is blackmail!"

Agreed.

These are Brazilians. It's Brazil! This is pre-Carnaval...there's a saying in Rio, at least, that nothing happens until after Carnaval.

"Want to go out for a girl's night?"
"Sure...but after Carnaval."

"I need to make a doctor's appointment."
"Ah...only after Carnaval."

"My favorite restaurant is closed...and they're not going to open until after Carnaval!"

Demanding a raise and expecting an answer during the Carnaval season is ludicrous. Just absurd. And so the only logical explanation is that the police never intended to negotiate. They intended to blackmail. "Give us what we want or you'll be royally screwed..."

I'm guessing that this may be the death blow for the World Cup. Let's hope Dilma and the other leaders manage this tumultuous situation in a wise way, because if this strike spreads to all the states, I can only see one outcome, and it ain't pretty.

Oh, Brazil. I love you...but why do you frustrate your own progress?

One of those Christian posts:Rants on Masculine Christianity and Leaving the Church

Hubbabaloo on the internet re: John Piper's comments about "masculine Christianity." Read the transcript here.

There are so many good links and comments on this topic that I don't know where to start, but I'll begin here, with a quip from Slacktivist Fred Clark

"P.S. Piper wants the church to have more of a “masculine feel.” The Bible says that the church is “the bride of Christ.” Can we conclude, then, that Piper has reversed his opposition to same-sex marriage?"

(Pause for big grins and snickers.)

Rachel Held Evans starts things off by calling for men to respond, because women have dealt with this long enough and at this point, it's a waste of breath to be defensive. Let the men have a stab at it...

Some of her commenters are pretty awesome. I particularly liked Pastorpeck, who pointed out that the same logic could be applied to racial or class identity. For example, Jesus was a poor Middle-Eastern oppressed Jewish male from the period of the Roman Empire. Therefore Christianity should have a poor, Middle-Eastern oppressed Jewish culture in the Roman Empire kind of a feel. Is that a mouthful?

J.R. Daniel Kirk gives us a bizarre image of the "nursing Jesus" in Revelation.

Disoriented Theology combines Piper's comments with a recent Barna group study that's been making waves about women and the church. Interesting comparison, made more so by this post, from Christianity Today, highlighting six reasons young adults are leaving the organized church. It's a quick read, and sure to start discussion.

Of those six reasons, three are quite pertinent to me and are key factors in why my husband and I have yet to find a church we are willing to attend on a regular basis: isolationism, shallowness and doubt. He might identify with other factors, but these three are common themes in our post-church discussions.

1) Isolationism. The self-proclaimed evangelical communities tend to be quite inbred and narcissistic, focusing more on snagging new membersfrom the existing Christian community (cannibalizing other churches) and updating their appearance, be that via new pews, carpeting, fixing the stained glass, or, the Brazilian favorite, upgrading the sound system. Many churches plan such a packed social calendar that it's impossible for those who aren't part of the church to hang out with church members, if said members are being "good Christians" and attending all functions. Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it, when you're so tied up with church-y stuff that you're not available for anyone outside the church? And let's not mention that all fun, if not sinful, must include worship music, a sermon and lots of interjection of the word "Jesus" or "Amen" while sipping copious amounts of Coke Zero. (Imbibing potentially damaging food-grade chemicals and massive quantities of caffeine is SO not the same as drinking a beer.)

2) Shallowness. Let's just say I bring a notebook with me to church services and most times, my scribbled pages aren't full of notes or things to research post-sermon. Half the time, we're not even receiving lowest-common-denominator sermons. We're in waters so shallow, it's a wonder our toes are even wet! I can't remember the last time I went to a church where the sermon made me think. Encouraged me to think. Gave me something worth thinking about. Depressing. This is why I'd rather just read and discuss with hubby at home...and yet, we need fellowship with others! What to do?

3) Doubt. Piggybacking on shallowness, weak preaching and teaching lead to a place where there is zero room for questions and doubt. This is because so many churches are maneuvering on seriously shaky theology and they simply can't allow any space for questions which might challenge their preconceived notions. Loving the Lord with all your heart, mind and spirit is now: Love the Lord with all your emotions and your pocketbook and don't trouble your pretty little mind, no.

Do I sound bitter? Guess I'm part of that new trend...not leaving the church yet, but unsure where to invest. As a woman, my gifts and talents aren't wanted by most churches. They would like me to sing. And help out in nursery. And I can be a missionary, because the ban on women preaching/teaching doesn't apply to those the powerful don't think are important (the poor, children, foreigners, anyone not Caucasian). Ooh. Ouch. But as a person for whom the life of the mind is crucial, and thought and doubt and questioning are integral to developing a vibrant faith, I'm a threat to the established order. I make them uncomfortable. And so the gifts and talents that bring me so much life are left fallow in the confines of the church...

Mr. Bugigangas and I have talked about starting an English language Bible study with a few friends or acquaintances who are also in Rio and starving for something deeper than the local churches have to offer. If that sounds like you, contact me and we'll see if God isn't stirring something up...

*Disclaimer: This is a generalized rant and I'm not poking fingers at any specific church; there are only three English churches that I know of in Rio, and we're kind of limited to them by virtue of hubby's language acquisition, but we've attended scores of Portuguese-speaking places as well, so this is a compilation of my experiences over the years.

More information on cloth diapers than you really needed to know

The handyman came on Wednesday to fix my zapped kitchen light fixture, which had been out for two weeks. Let me tell you, it's not pleasant to cook by the wimpy, grease-encrusted stove light. However, it did mean that I'd been leaving off washing dishes till morning, which was pleasant!

We engaged in small talk, because it's always awkward to have a stranger in your house, chopping away at wires without turning the electricity off first. You want to know something if you have to call the fire department or an ambulance...Somehow, I mentioned that we were expecting and going to cloth diaper. Maybe it was in reference to the new washing machine we're getting, one that will actually follow through on a full wash cycle. It's not important how we got there, only that this made the young handyman really, REALLY excited.

"OH my goodness, you must talk to my wife!" he exclaims, then spiels off into the exorbitant cost and waste of disposable diapers. Apparently, women like me are one in a million in Brazil. Of course, after seeing the cost of cute, Brazilian-made pocket diapers like these at a whopping R$45 apiece, it's not hard to see why Brazilians are slow to jump on this bandwagon. (I did find more economical ones here and here.) It's a hefty upfront cost, and the bulky diapers our mothers put us in, while economical, did have a distinct tendency to leak. And plastic pants might be fine in air conditioned environments, but I think it might permanently damage a child to be boiled like that in 98 degree temperatures.

I want to cloth diaper because I hate unnecessary waste, because it’s more economical, better for the environment and better for the baby. Also, they’re darned cute!

Since I have the benefit of visitors coming soon after the baby arrives, I'm opting to import most of my cloth diapers. We don't have hot water in our washing machine or a dryer, so I've had to guesstimate up on the number of diapers we'll need. Most lists suggest you’ll use 12-14 diapers a day for newborns, and only slightly less for older babies, plus a nighttime solution. Add in a longer drying time and washing every other day, and I’m guessing we’ll need about 3 dozen minimum, in sizes that will grow with baby.

Never a fan of velcro tabs, we opted for snaps whenever possible, and I've chosen a little bit of everything available, as lots of mothers mention that some diapers worked better than others; it all depends on the baby! (I figure I can gift or resell those that don’t work out for us.) At the moment, this is my list (some I have, some I'm contemplating):

All in Ones:


12 Bum Genius 3.0 (I bought these on Ebay for a great price off a mom who apparently didn't like cloth diapering!)

Pockets:



1 Canadian Flag design diaper to encourage husband participation
6 Sunbaby Diapers (3 size 1, 3 size 2) coming from China
1 Fuzzibunz
A couple of Happy Heinies (like the picture) from an expat mum

Fitted:


1 Basic cloth diaper
2 Kiwi Pie or Bumboo one size

Covers:



1 Flip cover
1 Rumparooz cover
4 Econobum cover
(p.s. While I was researching this post, I discovered that this site is currently selling buy one, get one on Flip covers!)

Extras:
3-6 doublers
2 dozen prefolds (because they have so MANY uses)
3 Snappis
a roll of flushable liners
cloth wipes for the wipes warmer
Some wet bags for the diaper bag/travel
A big trash can for storing
A bucket for soaking
An extra laundry drying rack
We'll wash with coconut soap, vinegar, baking soda, etc as fancy washing powders just aren't available, so that cost will be minimal.

I figure the total outlay up front will be about US$500 when you add in the extras and the cutsy diapers we will buy purely because they're so dang adorable. Like this one, from an Etsy seller, which is made of the softest material ever.

You just want to rub it against your face (I did this when a friend gave me the tour of her diaper stash!). I'm doing mostly gender-neutral colors/prints, so when we decide to expand the family, we can use these again...so we get to amortize the cost over years and years!

So, veterans of the cloth, am I missing something here? Am I going overboard? And to the rest of you who grimace and make the poop face: We are fully aware that babies poop and that we will have to wash it out. We live in Brazil; if there's no bidet, there's a sprayer next to the toilet, so we don't even have to shake the nastiness off. Spray, baby, spray!

Baking Day!

I decided to tackle a few baking projects that were sorely overdue a few weeks ago, and I just now got around to actually posting it. Oops. Several people asked me for recipes, so here they are, in no particular order of deliciousness.

1. Bagels.

Once I realized how easy, and how good, these were, I knew they needed to make it into a regular baking rotation. Today's the perfect kind of chill, dreary day one needs for standing over boiling water and then fishing bagels out to pop in a hot oven. These are not summertime baking projects, so it's a good thing that the Southern Hemisphere is really confused on what season it is supposed to be.

Recipe via The Sophisticated Gourmet.

2. Waffles.

My husband LOVES waffles. So do I, but usually when I want them, I'm in no mood or hunger state to actually make them. So I whipped up a batch, undercooked slightly, and am going to freeze the lot. When we get a craving, we can just pull a couple out, pop them in the toaster and they'll be as good (or better) than fresh. (No soggy waffles!)

There is very little to making waffles. Regular pancake batter works if you're lazy, like me. Beating egg whites separately from the yolks and folding them into the batter produces a lighter waffle. Belgian yeast ones take a lot more work and my husband wasn't particularly impressed, so take that as you will. (Maybe being lazy is okay in the kitchen?) Google "waffle recipe" for a host of options, it's really simple!

Trick: add a couple of spoonfuls of malted milk powder to the batter. It adds a little something.

3. Pop Tarts.

Okay, you know, those things that burn your mouth when you pull them out because you just can't WAIT to bite into the pastry + filling goodness. I've had the recipe for ages but kept putting it off. Having guests seemed like a good time as any to stock a few snack goodies in the freezer...and so I experimented with Smitten Kitchen's recipe, though I also used one from the Chicago Tribune as a secondary guide (I used a little of the extra-fine/pastry whole wheat flour that was hanging around as per their suggestion). I had high hopes for fillings: blueberry jam, mango-cupuaçu jam, and cinnamon/banana/cream cheese.

But they were a miserable failure.

Boo.

Too soft of a crust, too warm of a day? I don't know, but it just didn't work. These things weren't ever going to hold up in a toaster, so there was no chance of replicating my beloved frosted cherry variety. Frustrated, I gave up.

The crust got converted into a chocolate pie, which needs to come out no more than twice a year or we will be running dangerously close to sugar coma territory. So while the pop tarts were a failure, at least I didn't waste my ingredients. If you try it, tell me how yours went. Maybe I just live in too humid of a climate...

Le French, Le Mad, Le Deserve What They Get

Last night I read a blog post by an Angolan writer who is a student in France and being deported because the French have decided that xenophobia is the fashion of the decade. It was depressing.

Then my husband sent me this link which was so bizarre I had to share.

Here's the gist: Google offers a free service. Offended French Company (OFC) offers the same service, but charges for it. Google, therefore, is unfairly competing and should have to pay damages because OFC isn't getting as much business as they'd like.

Several commentators linked to this gem of a letter from way, way back which is brilliant satire and a wonderful reminder on why protectionism just doesn't work.

Pfft. Those French. Since restaurant 1 can sue restaurant 2 for charging less for their roast chicken, price wars will end. The consumer will just be economically violated by price fixing instead. Yay.

But it won't end there. First you have companies suing companies, but it's not too hard to slide down the wiggly logical slope to where companies will sue customers. Next thing you know, water companies will be suing people with wells, for cutting into their profits by not buying THEIR water. And consumers being fined for not using enough electricity. Cosmetic companies can get on board: think of all the people who don't wear makeup! And the ex-alcoholics who stopped buying booze? Oh, the possibilities here are endless. Endless.

Think of all the industries you don't support on a regular basis. Every time you help a stranger change a tire or jump their car, you're taking money away from the towing companies. When you help an old woman carry her groceries to the car, that's practically stealing from the bag boys who need their tip. Hand delivering a letter instead of mailing it? Post office workers should be allowed to charge you the full value of a stamp. Look at all those people on the beach, taking in sun for free when they could be paying thousands of dollars for access to private clubs with pools and lounge chairs. That's not fair, not fair at all.

Rainy Days

My sister was lucky; in her visit, we had exactly one cloudy, rainy day. It was the longest stretch of nice weather that I can remember! When it's nice in Rio, there's plenty to do:

Hike in the Floresta Nacional da Tijuca or on the trail in Urca across from Pão de Açucar. The Tijuca park is full of waterfalls; bring your swimsuit!



Brave the crowds for all those tourismy things. Try NOT to have your butt grabbed by frisky Indian ladies (like we did). One suggestion: do the trails around Pão de Açucar, which are usually less crowded as the big groups have a limited time on their tours, and hang out long enough for the little monkeys to show up and play. We got some great photos!



Beach, beach and more beach. We didn't take pictures here, though. I *did* have to dig a hole for my baby belly so I could get a little sun on my back!

When it rains, though, it can be hard to think of things to do. Here are a few suggestions:

Find a supermarket and stock up on unusual food gifts to take home. Tang and other bad-for-you-artificially-sweetened beverage packets often come in Brazilian fruit flavors that you'll never find in anywhere else. Try jabuticaba, graviola, cupuaçu, acerola, pitanga, cajú and cajá...unlike the actual fruits, these should be Customs friendly! Pão de queijo mix is another favorite, and if you can find it, Queensberry's Manga-Cupuaçu jam, which I give as gifts on almost every trip. It's getting a bit rare though, so if you find a store that is stocking, please let me know! Coffee is another gift that's appreciated by our friends and family. Some of the specialty ones in the supermarket are actually pretty good but if you feel like splurging, pick up something from Armazén do Café. Our favorite is the Valsa. While I'm not the biggest fan of Brazilian chocolate, the big bars with cashews (cajú) are a hit, and you can't go wrong with cashews and Brazil nuts (castanha-do-pará) as well. The cookie and snack aisles are full of exotic treats, or at least, unusual flavors.

Rainy days are good for shopping, in general. There's always Havaianas stores for all your flip-flop needs. Used books and CDs can be found at Berinjela on Avenida Rio Branco. I can't remember the number, but it's in the subsolo of a building across from the Carioca subway stop with a huge spiraling ramp leading down...Leonardo da Vinci bookstore is also here, which is packed with gorgeous but costly volumes in just about any language you could want. LEGEP in Recreio or the Shop dos Cristais in São Cristovão are places to buy carved birds, marble coasters and all things rock and mineral-like.

Of course, my favorite rainy day activity is just what we did on our last day, when the skies drizzled non-stop. We made chocolate chip cookies, drank tea on the porch and read books. It was perfect!