Saudades. The most perfect Portuguese word, the word most lacking in the English language. Saudades fills a gap nothing but poetry and embraces can fill. It is the music, the ache, the longing, the emotion and sensation of loss. Of missing. If homesickness could be amplified and given a makeover, it would begin to approach saudades.
At first, it made me laugh. These people who would say, "Jenna, we haven't seen you for two days. What saudades! We missed you so much!" I don't laugh anymore. It's begun to work its magic on me.
I am beginning to be terrible at goodbyes. Since being infected with the Brazilian spirit, I cannot simply say the words and turn away, beginning a new chapter of my life. I am plauged by saudades. I miss people I haven't seen or thought of in years. Not seeing friends for even just a few days and I am tempted to call them, just to "matar saudades." Catch up, hear their voice, kill the missing-you ache.
I wonder if there's something in the air here...I've never been so sentimental before. I'm already dreading my trip back to the States in the summer, knowing how much I will suffer from homesickness for this place...
Brasil, você é demais!