I am so stressed that I broke down in tears on more than one occasion today. I'm really a wimp. I mean, come on, who can't handle this?
sick, not having any time to absorb the culture shock, searching fruitlessly for homes that don't exist and co-signers that seem to be more fiction than fact, while having landlords that imply their deaths are imminent due to my current living situation...plus there's work (and I won't even GO there tonight!)...and the pot smoke wafting into my window and the fourteen different funk beats rivaling each other for the airwaves outside my house...
I AM leaving this hideous place that is full of cockroaches (I killed two more today in the silverware drawer--I've been thankfully washing everything before I use it--but they were totally having SEX behind the knives! They got what was coming to them.) This house where sewage backs up into my toilet. Where the power sometimes just goes off for no apparent reason.
I AM leaving. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm ready. Boxed. Bagged. House trashed. All God has to do is drop an apartment on me, Wizard-of-Oz style. I'll even put on the fancy red shoes...
Tonight, I'm going to watch Pride and Prejudice and eat garlic pizza, drink real Coke, and cry on someone's shoulder.
And then I'll be able to appreciate the good side of this story, which is that I have a huge support network, even if most of them are in debt and don't own property in Brazil. The man from the corner store sends boxes via my neighbor so I can get started on my moving packing. He's saving a huge stash of them for me. A total stranger from the internet offers her assistance in "calling everyone we know and who might have relatives" in an attempt to help me find a house and/or a cosigner. A friend's fiance offers his assistance. Other people have drug me around the city in their cars to look at apartments, walked dozens of city blocks with me, held my hand, let me complain and "desabafar," and I have yet to make a real meal in my home. Almost every day since I arrived, someone has fed me, or taken me out to eat, or split a pizza with me...which is an incredible blessing. And my friends are even going to the landlord of the house I want to see if that Bible verse is true, the one about the poor widow. You know, the lady who bothered the judge so much that he finally gave her what she wanted because otherwise he'd never get a moment's peace?! I want to be that woman!!! And I'm afraid, in Brazil, that's the only way to get anything done!
Appreciating your prayers,