There is a cool breeze blowing in and the sky is grey. Glory hallelujuah!
This has been a week of odd animal sightings. First, there was the pair of horses grazing casually on the trash piled up in the middle of the road, and then yesterday, two young pigs taking a bath in the pot-holes at the back entrance to Manguinhos, their snouts and ears the only body parts sticking up above the road level...
Speaking of odd creatures...
I bought a comfortable chair the other week, and finally got our "friend" with a combi to bring it by my house. I had to bargain him down to a reasonable price, as he was charging me as much as a taxi...and for saving five reis, I was captive to his multi-level marketing, religiously-tinged aloe vera conversion scheme. Salespeople don't tend to like me, except for the ones for whom I am a loyal client. I know what I want and don't change my mind easily. I send almost everything they show me back out to the floor...I hate pushiness. And excess enthusiasm. You know how some people are repulsed and horrified by clowns? They're fascinating but frightening at the same time. Enthusiastic product cheerleaders do that to me. I want to stare at them...from behind a very thick glass wall where they can't get at me...and yesterday, I was enclosed in a vehicle with one for thirty minutes.
I can handle about five minutes of this man in a group. I hate buying furniture mostly because it means that I'll have to deal with him. So after three minutes of his insistent aloe vera this and aloe vera that, I snapped. I had been nice, given my best, "really, I'm not interested but thanks" speech and even faked some interest in going down to their headquarters at some very uncertain future date (2091, perhaps?) It was either the knee tapping to get my attention or the cream that did it. The aloe vera cream that made you lose "up to 16 centimeters instantly! Scientifically proven...though it's not a medicine, so we can't sell it in drugstores or anything. But it's okay, because we don't want to create vendors, we want to create consumers!!! Consumers!!!"
Not sure if he's insinuating that I need this miracle cream, I start to let him know what I really think. He's loosed the rabid Jenna and nothing will ever be the same again. :)
CrazyAloeMan-"We even have this makeup that the models sleep in. It's good for your skin so they sleep in it! You don't have to take it off! You should try it..."
Jenna-"I don't use makeup. And even if I did, I wouldn't want to sleep in it. Why would that be a selling point? It's makeup. You take it off eventually. It's sticky. It would get all over the pillow...If I want something that's good for my face, why not moisturizer????
CrazyAloeMan changing topics- "You use soap? We've got soap! You use shampoo? No? Why not? You should. Try ours. Oh, well, we've got shampoo. We've got conditioner. How do you know ours isn't better than the one you're using? Would you switch if it was scientifically proven to be better than the product you're currently using???? We've got conditioner! We've got toothpaste! Everything you need, we've got. And it's made out of aloe vera, which restores synovial fluid in your joints, regrows hair, burns localized fat, makes your sperm more potent..."
Rebuffed, harshly. I'm turning into a prickly porcupine who's getting ready to vomit a dictionary...but he's saved by his terse
"I think you're really closed minded and you're letting really great opportunities pass you by. As a consumer of our products, you'd be making money, a check that came to your house that you could spend any way you want...and you're saying no to this opportunity? You need to get your priorities in order."
Okay. I'll do that. Starting with getting out of this car...and never ever ever ever buying furniture that requires use of your vehicle. Or just coughing up an extra ten reis and having a peaceful ride with a total stranger...