Can paranoic idiocy be considered a rising national disease??? The Boxton Bomb Hoax (that wasn't)

When I was sick a few weeks ago, I did a lot of internet browsing. And after finding this news story, I laughed so hard I’m surprised that the neighbors didn’t call down to see what was the matter.

The basic story: In a guerilla marketing campaign (which is not meant to be confused with marketing for gorillas or for Colombian paramilitaries), some LightBright boxes with recognizable cartoon characters were placed in 10 cities, equipped to blink at night and display the character for passing motorists. In Boston, they were not noticed by police or other agencies until some callers insinuated that perhaps they were bombs. The Boston bomb squad couldn’t tell if these “complex devices” were bombs or not, and panicked...shutting down roads, transportation, exploding the unidentified objects. Apparently, no one in Boston’s government watches the Cartoon Network...and determined after they’d proved themselves fools, that this was actually a bomb hoax and someone else would have to pay the price tag for their day of stupidity. Even the judge laughed at them, as a hoax has to be intended as a hoax. This was an advertising stunt. No one expected anyone to assume that it was anything but that. No one factored in the incredible denseness of the Bostonian police force. I suppose this now means that if you throw your Starbucks cup in a public trashcan and a passerby thinks this is a suspicious action, you’re in trouble for staging a terrorism hoax, even if the mistake lies squarely on the overzealous citizen who’s read too many John Grisham novels...

Scott, writing a response here, says: “Complex Devices” in that nobody on the police force has ever seen a circuit board in his life. “Contains parts commonly used in bombs” in the same way that a man wearing clothing contains “articles commonly worn on nazis”_I’m an electrical engineering major in his first year and by taking one look at that circuit board from a DISTANCE I could tell that it posed no threat._Please, for the love of god, get a bloody clue, boston.”

Good laughs found here, and here, and here.

Best quote from the reading:

“"It had a very sinister appearance," Coakley told reporters. "It had a battery behind it, and wires."”

Yes. Sinister indeed. Remind me never to take my iPod out in public. Or my flashlight, for that matter.


Oh, and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Never heard about them until now. The boxes are going for hundreds of dollars on ebay and those of us without televisions or cable are in the know. Turner should thank Boston for the good advertising. You can't pay to get coverage like that.

I had so much I wanted to post on in the past few weeks...

the Boston "bomb" scares
my first good Carnaval experience
what it's like to sweat so much you feel your body is evaporating
about the quirky character's I've seen (an elderly woman proudly sporting a pair of marijuana leaf earrings, for one!)
how I ran into a bunch of old friends in Lapa the other day

But when I sit down to type, I realize that the last thing I want to do is sit with a hot computer on my lap when I could be taking my sixth shower of the day. Or that I can't think when my brain is being fried. Things like that.

So please forgive my lack of blogging recently. You'd be having a hard time too, if you were living here!

Carnaval Pictures

Here's me and some girls from my team getting ready for our Grammy Awards presentation!



This was my Cartoon Night costume...SpongeBob! Check out the earrings...my friend Noadia's Zé Carioca. I guess that's a Rio mascot...



And for Noah's Ark, can you guess what I was??? I had limited costume options before the retreat...

This is a snake that's just finished eating one of the birds on the ark. It's now an exinct species, imagine that! I got serious creativity props on this one...and a lot of funny stares!

Grammatical Corrections

I made a mistake two posts back. I listed to my anonymous commentator (mother???) and changed the sentence they complained about.

That was wrong. And I knew better, because I taught myself English at home. Had I gone to Owen County Public Schools, perhaps you could have an argument...

The original sentence read: "Here are some pictures of Tiago and me..." and has recently been erroneously changed to "Here are some pictures of Tiago and I..."

The pronoun "me" is in the objective not the subjective form. If I had not made Tiago part of that sentence, it would have read:
"Here are some pictures of me."

Here are some pictures of I????? Clearly wrong.

Who taught me English???? Who taught you?

:)

(want to verify? go here: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/cases.htm)

Monday was long, but great...

there was a freaky flash storm in the middle of our worship circle singing/prayer time, the kids actually lined up to get their food, we fixed a lot of cuts and drew funny pictures of each other, and the girls reprimanded me for being too skinny. Thanks, ladies. I'm eating...and trying to gain weight!

These two boys were all, "Tia, take my picture take my picture take my picture..." all night long.


One of the older boys is super skinny and, well, wasted. He swears he's not doing crack anymore. I'm not sure I believe him.

Next time, I'll videotape the worship time, because it is too precious to miss! Everyone singing off tune, stomping around, ever Mr. I-eat-my-own-poop-as-an-attention-getter-and-pretend-I'm-a-frog was joining in on the action.

Monday nights. Precious.

The weekend in pictures...

Mostly recovered, I rejoined the social scene...
First, my long-awaited haircut. A.P. has been talking about this woman for months but never explained where the salon was. Friday I trudged down super-early in the morning to get in with her. Seriously, this woman has magic hands! My curls are showing up in places where they never existed before!


Saturday night, a dinner with the interpreters at a chic restaurant in Recreio. The name might have been "LoCal" but the food was anything but! Here are some pictures of Tiago and I, plus the great view from the front of the restaurant...




Monday, I dragged my camera down to the streets and we had a great time. Here's me with one of the babies...

Still no tell-tale itchy rash,

so I'm probably not suffering from dengue. But after two whole days of sitting in the house, fighting 100+ degree fevers in 95+ degree temperatures, without a television or air conditioning, I'm beginning to get grumpy. And bored.

I went to the doctor today, someone closer. Mistake. As a general rule, I've found Brazilian doctors to be pompous, cold, and elitist, preferring to dictate what their patients should take or do without explaining anything. Doctors know and patients don't. End of story. At the public hospitals, they spend an average of twenty seconds with a patient. SECONDS. You wait in line for hours...and the end result? A person in a white jacket takes a cursory glace at you, asks for your symptoms, thinks for about ten seconds (all without any real examination whatsoever) and then writes a prescription.

So I have my "Where there is no doctor" book and twenty-some odd years of living with my mother, who is the queen of self-diagnosis. I remember when we were kids that she would just call the local doctor to let them know we had strep throat, or ear infections, and could they please send a prescription around? So I've inherited this. I've narrowed my current illness down to two plausible possibilities: strep or dengue. The sore throat pleads for the first option, so my goal in going to the doctor is merely to get a prescription for an antibiotic. Because I have amoxicillin in the house, but I'd prefer something stronger.

I left the house about a quarter till two, and it was beastly hot. I had to shuffle my way to an ATM because I had NO money, having spent my last few reis on a thermometer and lunch. The dang machine charged me R$6 in service fees. Note to travelers: unless your life depends on it, Banco 24 Horas is the worst ATM to do business with in the country.

The doctor's fee was R$30. He was a white haired gentleman who stuttered rather severely. A selective listener, he jumped on my arthritis as being exactly what I was suffering from, spent five minutes flustering over the fact that he'd never heard of my arthritis meds (and therefore, that they were probably ineffective). I explained that what I was suffering from was fever and sudden throat pain. He kept insisting on my arthritis history. He asked me five times if I had had bloodwork done. Five times I told him it was done recently and there were no abnormalities. Each time, he forgot. I didn't even get to tell him I was taking a Tylenol until I forced the conversation back to the real reason I was there, and then he chastised me for not telling him about the medicines I was taking...and in the end, he prescribed? Amoxicillin. Grrr,,,

And to top it off, he ended the consultation with a snide comment about me being religious getting in the way of believing in astrology...

In general, the worst R$30 I've ever paid. And the most unpleasant doctor. Medical care in poverty-stricken areas is a disgrace.

And I'm still feeling lousy. Low fever and boredom. But I hear that Ben has some Seinfeld episodes, so I'm going to brave the streets for a few minutes to get me some quality entertainment!!!

In which I might have a case of dengue fever...

Which would make two WMF Brasil staff members down with the same mosquito-borne disease in the same week, which is no small coincidence...

Of course, it could also just be a really nasty 24-hour flu. I should know by tomorrow morning.

Regardless, I'm running a gleeful fever that makes me shake with cold in the summer heat, feel like I've been run over by a garbage truck, and am so tired I actually fell asleep while talking to Rich today. He was standing in the doorway and said something to me...and I found myself answering in a dream!

In other news, I am covered with bruises again. I'm tempted to put some photos up, because it really looks like someone took a midget baseball bat to my legs. And for the life of me, I can't remember bumping into anything...which is not a good sign either way you look at it. Either my short-term memory is shot or I've got a pixie that's beating me up in the middle of the night. Not good.

I think I'm slightly hallucinatory, which is fun! I'll give an update tomorrow.

Sunday Scribblings: Goodbyes

Saudades. The most perfect Portuguese word, the word most lacking in the English language. Saudades fills a gap nothing but poetry and embraces can fill. It is the music, the ache, the longing, the emotion and sensation of loss. Of missing. If homesickness could be amplified and given a makeover, it would begin to approach saudades.

At first, it made me laugh. These people who would say, "Jenna, we haven't seen you for two days. What saudades! We missed you so much!" I don't laugh anymore. It's begun to work its magic on me.

I am beginning to be terrible at goodbyes. Since being infected with the Brazilian spirit, I cannot simply say the words and turn away, beginning a new chapter of my life. I am plauged by saudades. I miss people I haven't seen or thought of in years. Not seeing friends for even just a few days and I am tempted to call them, just to "matar saudades." Catch up, hear their voice, kill the missing-you ache.

I wonder if there's something in the air here...I've never been so sentimental before. I'm already dreading my trip back to the States in the summer, knowing how much I will suffer from homesickness for this place...

Brasil, você é demais!